4 Steps to Take After Separating From Your Spouse

Sometimes, despite the time spent in relationship counselling and the many efforts to reconcile, separating from your partner is your only option. It may be complicated, but staying in an unhappy relationship could be more damaging to your family over time than cutting the cord early on.

A separation could be permanent, or you could just need time apart to re-evaluate life on your own terms. Either way, if you’ve decided to take time away from your relationship, you may be worrying about what comes next. Here are four steps to take after a separation to make the transition more comfortable for the whole family.

Sort Out Your Living Situation

Whether you have three children together, a cat, a dog, or you lived alone, you will need to give careful consideration to your new living arrangements. Presuming you share a home, decide who will stay and who will need to move elsewhere, and select a realistic timeframe for this to happen. Try not to have your spouse move out overnight. Making the transition gradual will help both you and any children you have to be more accepting of the new situation.

Talk to Your Children

There’s no way around it: if you and your spouse have children together, they are going to be affected by your separation. Presumably, you’ve decided that taking this time apart is the right option for your family, so stick to your guns and try to present a united front. Explain exactly how the separation will work, and that you and your spouse intend to stay friends.

Whether you spend time together as a family in the future you can’t know for sure just yet, so don’t pretend to have all the answers. Instead, present the situation to your children as it is now, and be accepting of their response. Telling your children about separation or divorce is never going to be easy, but don’t underestimate their ability to adapt to the new set up. It will take time, and you need to be patient.

Get Financial Advice

Whether or not you’re thinking of going down the legal route, you will need to seek financial advice if you and your partner share the same home. If one of you is the primary earner, for instance, what are the other person’s rights, and who is responsible for paying the rent or mortgage? The Money Advice Service has some useful information about the financial implications of a separation.

Hire a Solicitor

Separating from your spouse doesn’t always result in divorce, but if you’re thinking about being legally extricated from the relationship, this is the next step to take. Search online for reputable family solicitors in London who can help ease the strain of financial worries, childcare arrangements and the dividing of assets.

When your relationship falls apart, it can be difficult, both emotionally and logistically, so try to make things easy on yourself. Make sure you have somewhere to live for the next few months, some money in the bank, and that the kids are taken care of, and then set to work repairing yourself emotionally.

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Alan Cole

Alan is a Freelance Website Designer, Sports & Exercise Science Lab Technician and full time Dad & husband with far too many hobbies: Triathlete, Swimming, Cycling, Running, MTBing, Surfing, Windsurfing, SUPing, Gardening, Photography.... The list goes on.